Understanding Men

Living Together Better Than Marriage?

2012-01-24T10:57:00.001-08:00

Sponsored by: The Woman Men Adore

So someone sent me this link about how living together is better than marriage. Let's be honest, of course you can find research to support what you want to believe. Living together does have some benefits and it certainly will make someone happier in some instances.

That's not the problem. It's what living together does to a persons ability to develop intimacy. The study mentions somewhat casually, "Though previous (and highly cited) research has showed a higher divorce rate among couples who live together before they tie the knot compared to those who do not, these decades-old findings may be outdated." Well, you need to show research that disproves that instead of simply saying it may be outdated.

Most women believe that what guys like is living together before marriage so they can simply ease into getting married. Don't fall for that.

Living together certainly has some benefits, but the question I ask is what's your goal. If you want a man to marry you, then you need to demonstrate value. Make sharing a home with you something he has to work for and aspire to.

Please don't make it as convenient as a long extended date. Just recently Gene Simmons got married to his long time live in girlfriend. After years of living together she had this to say, "Being married is SO much different." She's right. Marriage is more than simply a piece of paper. That's why men are cautious about taking the plundge. They know it's the biggest commitment they will ever make. The question is...are you worth getting married to?

Do Men Always Cheat?

2012-01-10T09:46:00.000-08:00

I saw this article and was intrigued by the title. Written by researchers that have discovered the truth that men will ALWAYS cheat.

Where do I begin. This kind of research has been going on for decades. If I didn't know better Hugh Hefner (Mr. Playboy) has sponsored these findings as it benefits his particular lifestyle.

Like much research, there is some truth to what the authors claim. If I ask almost anyone the simple question of "Tell me what guys like?" I'm sure many would respond with "sex on the side." The same would be true if I ask an actress is she would like to be able to eat anything she wanted. Even though they could, it isn't worth it.

The reason men don't cheat isn't just because they shouldn't it's because it's not worth it. Having sex on the side has consequences. It does something to you. It creates a an appetite for something that soon becomes rarely satisfied.

It's true that many men never learn this. They value the intensity of the forbidden, like a food addict craves whatever they want, when they want it. In time they become a slave to what they desire.

That's the problem. Either sex is no big deal or it's a huge deal. Most men realize this at some point in their life (hopefully before they marry) and realize that what you have with a wife creates a type of intimacy that you can't find from a hookup.

If you're a woman, don't fall for the nonsense that all men will cheat or that men can't help themselves. You're falling for one of the biggest cons every perpetrated on women in the last 20 years.

What Guys Like

2012-01-02T10:44:00.000-08:00

Sponsored by: What Guys Like

Here's an article I just read about the difference between being hot vs. pretty. I've said it so many times, but it's just as true today - What Guys Like isn't always what they say they like.
The secret is that women need to understand men better than men understand themselves...regarding a relationship.

Women are the heart of a relationship and because of this they have tremendous power, yet so few actually use this ability. Instead so many opt for being the convenient girlfriend and simply hope the relationship works out.

You don't have to do that any more. For those rare women who know how to put their heart ahead of any man there is never a shortage of men that are dying to spend time with them. They may not be the tallest, skinniest, prettiest, etc. but they have something that men crave.
It is an almost magical quality that makes men simply want to be around them.

Secret to Marriage

2011-12-12T10:54:00.000-08:00

Sponsor: What Husbands Can't Resist

Marriages that are passionate are the ones when each person realizes that passion is created rather than it simply happens. So often singles think that if they simply pick the right person, they'll have a wonderful marriage.

I agree who you marry is important, but even if you pick the perfect match you'll still need to live with them day to day. There will be circumstances that are scary and depressing, no matter how attractive they are.

After working with couples in marriage counseling for over 20 years, I can tell you what will mean the most to you. Not what should mean the most...but what will mean the most. It is a person's character. Are they kind, do they keep their word, etc. There is nothing more important that knowing you can count on your spouse.

kim kardashian - What's Wrong Here?

2011-11-27T15:49:00.000-08:00

Regardless of whether you think Kim "staged" her wedding or it honestly ended, there's something wrong with her. I don't mean crazy, but it's important to realize that patterns don't lie. She's got more money than most people even dream of and she's very pretty and since she's been married before you would think she would understand that marriage isn't to be taken lightly. And yet, she ends the marriage in just a few months (or is it days)?

I've told women for years that being pretty, sexy or even rich isn't enough. Finding a keeping a wonderful man is more a reflection of what's in your heart and mind.

Years ago one of my favorite professors in Graduate School introduced our class to this principle. People marry others who are on the same level of emotional health as they are. Alcoholics marry co-dependents, Narcissists marry borderlines and wonderful men marry wonderful women.
After watching how Kim just ended her marriage, I'm reminded of that wise professor and just how right he was.

Why You Need To Get Your Man To Adore You

2011-10-13T14:53:00.000-07:00

Guest Post:

One of the things that you have to find out about relationships on
your own is that when they are working well the time flies by, but
when you are having niggles it can really drag.

It is during that 'dragging time' that doubts can start to creep
into a relationship and men can start to have doubts about their
commitment to you and your relationship together.

The next step on this road is to a breakup that will almost
certainly end up being painful for both parties.

It may be then that you find yourself today at one of these two
crossroad points, either in a relationship but in the no-mans land
of the 'dragging zone', or having just emerged from a painful
break-up, where you find yourself missing your ex and really
wanting a way to get him back.

The good news is that The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave
is designed for exactly those two scenarios, and so whether the
road is currently rocky, or has come to an abrupt halt, the good
news is that there is a path back to happiness.

The first step is to understand what men really want. This is not a
subject that is taught in school! And so understanding that Men
really are from Mars, and Women from Venus is the first step on the
road to getting back your man because if you know what makes him
tick as a man then you will be in a much better position to
re-ignite the flames of passion that may either have dimmed a
little, or almost gone out entirely.

But don't take my word for it!

Here is an impartial Review of The Woman Men Adore And Never Want
To Leave that you can check out which discusses some of the strategies
you can learn in the book.

Once you understand the male mind better then it is important to
understand the Do's and Don'ts of firing up a great relationship,
as well as the practical steps that you need to take to make it
happen.

There is a real science to this and once you understand it properly
then flicking the switch of love back on is made dramatically
easier.

I believe that The Woman Men Adore can help to get you past the grey
days in a relationship, or get back a partner you have lost and push upwards
to the type of bond with your partner you really deserve.

Dare to dream that your relationship can be fabulous!

Understanding Men

2011-05-13T12:39:00.000-07:00

Here's my first video posting. I've always given relationship advice that reflected what was actually helpful instead of telling my clients what everyone considered to be the safe answers. Here I point out the best way to measure what is really in a man's heart.

Get Your Free Report by Clicking Here

Why Monogamy Matters

2011-04-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

It seems I hear from countless women who tell me, "No one does that anymore." Well, a lot of people don't believe in monogamy and it's getting to the point that a lot more don't even believe in the value of getting married.

It's almost enough to make me wonder if a new trend is developing. Something that want's the benefits of intimacy without the responsibility of a commitment. If only such a thing existed. What many fail to understand is that a passionate and intense relationship doesn't help you much when you're sick and need someone to help you.

How exciting a person is doesn't really make much difference when you have a screaming 2 year old at 2am.

Marriage isn't obsolete. In fact, the best marriage advice I can offer to anyone considering simply dating instead of getting married is simply this: Do you want to be with someone that will leave once they realize their feelings change, or would you rather live with someone who loves you, even when you disappoint them?

Dare To Dream

2011-02-14T08:51:00.000-08:00

What you believe has a huge impact on not only how your life turns out, but how others see you. It's more than simply being "positive." It has to do with your convictions. Those deeply held beliefs and fears that you have about yourself.

For your brain has an amazing way of making things happen that at times seem impossible. Actually, at times they should be impossible. If your circumstances aren't what you'd like them to be, then it doesn't have to stay that way. To become the woman that effortlessly attracts men, it starts from the inside and the best part is...it doesn't require perfection. The woman men adore is something every woman can become, once they decide it's what they deserve.

Best Dating Related Blog

2011-01-18T07:55:00.000-08:00

I'd like to ask a favor. About.com is doing its 2011 Readers Choice Awards and is taking nominations.

It would mean a lot if you would take the time to nominate me for Best Dating-Related Blog and Best Dating-Related Book of 2010 (The Woman Men Adore). It will take about 10 seconds and did I mention that it would really mean the world to me, :-).

Click here to nominate me.

Just scroll to the last two categories on the list and put in the following:

“Your Nominee for Best Dating-Related Blog: Understanding Men”

“Your Nominee for Best Dating-Related Book of 2010: The Woman Men Adore by Bob Grant”

Thanks so much.

I'll have a new post later this week.

Sincerely,

Bob

Getting Hurt By A Man - Elin Nordegren - Tiger's Ex

2010-11-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'll admit I haven't read the article, but judging from the cover she seems to be saying all the right things. What I do wonder is how she's keeping herself so "strong." If she's doing it from sheer will alone, in time that won't last or worse, she'll become bitter. That's what makes it so tough when you're the victim.
You've been hurt. Everyone agrees.
You protect yourself however you can.
Then the weeks and months go by and things "calm down."
If you don't replace those Coping Skills with something new, bitterness or being guarded sets in.
It's not that you want that, it's just once you've been hurt, it becomes harder to risk getting burned again.
At least, until you decide that life is short and you're ready to do whatever it takes to have the relationship you've dreamed of since you were little.
Elin, as hard as it might be to believe right now, I promise you, dreams really can come true.

Kim Dardashian Is Single...Again?

2010-10-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

You've heard me say it so many times. What makes a man connect with you isn't simply about being pretty enough. Take Kim Kardashian. Do you really think the reason she's still single is because she isn't pretty? I've seen this pattern for years and it won't change until she realizes what she's doing to contribute to her remaining single.

It's the same reason that her sister Kourtney tolerates her horrible boyfriend. The beliefs each of them has about themselves contribute to their romantic life more than all of their fashion savvy.

Kim and Kourtney are experiencing what many successful women there age are going through. They have success in most areas of their lives, except men. It's a different set of rules that apply to relationships and eventually they will learn this or .............

Want To Sell Your Website?

2010-09-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

If you have a website that is focused on relationships and what guys like, and you'd be interested in selling it then I'd love to speak with you. Our company is developing other websites and we'd also like to add an additional one to our network.
Our interest is in affiliate sites, article directories, relationship oriented websites or perhaps a type of site that we haven't thought of. If you own a blog then we aren't interested in that because of the constant need for new content that those require.
Send me an email at - sellmywebsite@relationshipheadquarters.com.

Please describe your site and if it sounds appealing, I'll respond back.

In Love With Love?

2010-09-09T06:47:00.000-07:00

I saw this article and I'm reminded of how easy it is to be in love with being in love. If you look at her history of dating you'll notice this pattern:
1) Starts the relationship off with lots of intensity and passion.
2) Then she expects her man to maintain that same level of passion - indefinitely.
3) When he doesn't she begins to question his commitment and often presses him to reassure her of his love for her.
4) The relationship ends when he tires of having to "prove his love" to her.
5) She wonders what went wrong and how she can "get my boyfriend back".
6) Without a plan to save the relationship, she moves on to the next guy.
7) Repeat step 1

Jessica is proof that just being very attractive isn't enough to captivate a man.

Sex with Your Ex?

2010-08-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

I was surfing the internet just looking for ideas for my newest ebook, "What's He Thinking?" and for some reason I stumbled upon this title. I am reminded of the women that have told me about this very thing. Some have had sex with their ex-husband. Others with their soon to be ex-husband and then there are women have mentioned that they had sex with their ex-boyfriend, even though they knew he was dating someone else. Why would they do such a thing? I'll bet you know the answer.
Because it just feels good.
All of them would admit that they weren't being logical and they would confess to being caught up in the moment, but if you dig a little deeper there is often a deeper motivation.
It makes them feel desirable that someone that who once cared about them still finds them attractive. There's only one problem and you know what that is too.
The next day.
That's what I as a therapist get to see most of. Instead of learning the secrets of the woman men adore, they instead choose a night of passion that leaves these women lonely, depressed and feeling hopeless. Is it exciting, you bet! It it worth it?

What Do Guys Like

2010-06-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

I just got permission from a woman who bought 2 of my ebooks to use her picture on my website.
She doesn't want her name mentioned (so I won't), but the image she sent me of her wedding day is absolutely beautiful.
I still remember the first email she sent me and how nervous she was when she dared to become "The Woman Men Adore." She understood that it isn't always easy, but it is ALWAYS powerful and now she has her man. His heart is hers completely.
From some women I get emails that say, "Oh that won't work," or "I already do that and it get's me nowhere." I'm sorry, but they don't get it.
It works every time with a man.
It doesn't work with a player (someone who only wants a one night stand). It works for a lifetime on a man. It doesn't work on a guy who insists on always getting his way.
It works every time on a man.
It does not work on a man who avoids all conflict.
You see, it not only draws a wonderful man into your life, but it repels those guys that are a waste of time.
It doesn't change a man, it reveals him.
Here's a new site that I found that gives ideas about what guys like.

Dating Questions

2010-04-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

As you might imagine in my line of work I have become familiar with many sites that offer dating advice. Most of these sites are transient, temporary and are built with the simple intention of making a buck. Since visitors see no real value added by them, they sputter out into online oblivion. It is not that I have something against the natural capitalist trade of value for money, especially if the equation is leaning towards the value side; but when people or companies put up low quality review or content sites, they are just sites waiting to die.
Having said all of this it is refreshing to see some sites that have the intention of adding value to this space. I am talking here about OnlineDatingVille.com. It is a difficult line to walk between commercial intent and adding value through content, but they are intertwined and I believe this site is doing a good job of balancing one with the other.
The articles I have read on the site go from just plain entertaining in their style and wit, to being actually helpful in answering dating questions or making a hard decision when dating online. Although they do promote some dating offers, they also have purely content based pages; which means to me that they are striving for a good give and take balance.
If you are evaluating using an online dating service and are not sure exactly what to do, then it might do you some good to stroll by OnlineDatingVille.com and get some good first hand info. The worst thing that can happen is that you will have a good entertaining read. This is one site that I believe will be a valuable place online for some time to come.

Jake Pavelka - The Bachelor

2010-03-05T12:59:00.000-08:00

WomanMenAdore.net

I’d like to believe that 'Bachelor' Jake Pavelka and his new fiancee were going to live happily ever after. I really would like to see them succeed, but I just a can’t see how. Theirs is the recipe for disaster. Intense beginnings that are based more on “chemistry” than substance make wonderful Hollywood movies, but terrible marriages. Why you ask? Because marriage is more about what you do when there is no chemistry rather than what you do when you’re full of emotion. The real passion comes when each partner does acts of kindness….when they don’t feel like it. So I really do hope you and Vienna make it, but if the rumors are true that you’re planning to move in together then I’m afraid you’ll likely find your relationship is more like a make believe fairy tale that comes to an end.

Can Tiger Save His Marriage?

2010-02-23T11:37:00.000-08:00

From: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I had lunch with a couple of women today who asked me that very question. My reply?

Yes, Tiger can save his marriage if...
His wife wants it saved and if he's willing to learn how to allow her to influence him.
You see, in spite of all the horrible things he's alleged to have done, what happens now and in the future is more important that the past.
Now, I'm not saying whether she should or shouldn't take him back - that's for her to decide. But if she does, even though it will be a long path, they actually could save their marriage.

Couples Who Fight - One Word Makes A Difference

2010-02-03T15:00:00.000-08:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I'll admit I love research. Especially the kind that provides insights that are simple to use and repeat. That's why this insight, in my opinion, is very helpful for couples.

Different Kinds Of Affairs?

2010-01-30T08:26:00.000-08:00

RelationshipHeadquarters

I saw this and thought it was interesting. It details the differences between jealousy between men and women. My experience with clients is simply that once someone crosses the line and has an affair, it's similar to experimenting with a drug. They can stop but unless they make a conscious effort to do so, they won't.

The Narcissist Test

2010-01-27T12:48:00.000-08:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I found this test while doing some research. Not the most scientific, but it gives you a pretty good indication of where your man (or even you) might fall on the "hard to get along with" scale.

Enjoy.

7 Lies Women Believe About Men

2009-12-07T14:04:00.000-08:00

It's been a while I know. I've been working on new products and here is the latest.

7 Lies Women Believe About Men - 2 CD set.

What are those lies you ask? Here are 2 to begin with:

Lie #1 Men aren't Romantic

Lie #2 All Men Cheat on their Partner

Want to know the rest? Find out more here...

What He Wants

2009-11-06T11:08:00.000-08:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Most women ask me what they can say to make a man act or respond in a certain way. While there are some things you can say that work better than others, there really isn't anything that works all the time.
Think about it, can you imagine me telling a man what to say that would get you to do whatever he wanted you to do?
The only way that is virtually fool proof is to learn how to be Captivating to a man. That's where the power is for a woman. The Authentic woman will always own a man's heart and he won't mind one bit.

Holly has Passion - Guys Like Holly

2009-08-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

From RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I know a woman named Holly. She specializes in helping website owners understand what appeals to women. That may not sound very exciting, and for most individuals - it isn't. However, Holly is passionate about it. In fact, when I get her newsletter, I find myself getting excited just from reading it. She really does love what she does. It shows in the way she talks, and in the content of every article she writes.
Now, here's what's surprising to a lot of women - men find that kind of woman captivating. Whether it's your job or a favorite hobby, a man can feel the difference when they are in the presence of a woman who participates in something she loves on a regular basis. It really is hypnotic.

What about you? What do you do that you love? What hobbies do you participate in regularly? Are there books you read that make your soul come alive? If not, then you'll likely put too much pressure on a man to make you happy. Honestly, a man will sense that, and feel that pressure.

When you make a relationship just ONE of the things that brings you joy, a man will notice that, and take notice.

Emotional Dependency - Men Love It

2009-06-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

Sponsor: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Whenever you hear the word “dependency,” most of us think in terms of some form of addiction or disease. It tends to imply something that should be avoided, fixed, or terminated. Most individuals with dependencies are those with addictive personalities, and thus rely on others to meet their needs and fulfill their responsibilities. Not the type of person you want to be in a relationship with, or aspire to become.

What if I told you that making a man emotionally dependent on you was a good thing? In fact, what if.... click here to read more.

Top 10 Blogs For Women

2009-04-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I was pleasantly surprised "Understanding Men" was selected as one of the Top 10 Best “Love” Blogs for women by AllWomenStalk.com. I was in good company with other blogs from strengtheningmarriage.com, Glamour magazine and marriage.families.com.
Thanks so much AllWomenStalk.com!

You Don't Have to be Perfect

2009-03-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

Sponsor: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

What do men really want in a woman?

After years of listening to women in my private practice, many seem to think that men expect nothing less than perfection. If you were to visit some popular men’s websites such as; askmen.com or maximum.com you would certainly think that unless a woman is both highly attractive and incredibly accommodating, that men have no interest. This is not really accurate. At least not in the way you might think.

I often illustrate this to women by asking this question:

“If you had a choice between two men and everything about them was exactly the same, with the exception of one being worth millions and one being poor, who would you prefer? Would you select the wealthy one, or the one who was poor?”

You Know the Answer: If they were equal in all other aspects, most women state that they would choose the wealthy gentleman. I mean, why not if everything else is equal?

Now when men hear this some are likely to say, “That’s right, all a woman cares about is a guy who makes a lot of money.” In fact, that conclusion would be incorrect. A man would be wrong to assume that just because a woman likes the characteristic of a man with money that she cannot love a man unless he is wealthy. In fact, most women I speak with tell me this, “It isn’t that he has to make a certain amount, but I would like to know that he has the potential to make enough for me to feel comfortable.” In fact, most women are willing and/or expect to help out financially.

This same standard applies to men. If given the choice between.... To continue reading Click Here

If it could happen to Rihanna…..

2009-03-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

Sponsor: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Why do some women end up with losers or abusers?

The answer - abusive men are often exciting. Their passion, when properly applied, can be quite captivating. Unfortunately, they frequently use that same passion when they become upset to inflict evil upon a woman. Often their victims say that their rage seemed to appear “out of nowhere.”

In addition, many women in this situation often use this phrase, “I know what he did was bad, but when he’s good, he’s sooo good. This bad stuff isn’t really him. I know the person he truly is.” What’s sad is that they often see this man as someone who is basically good who just happens to lose his temper on occasion.

What they, and hopefully Rihanna, need to remember is what James Allen once said:
“Circumstances don’t make a man, they reveal him.”

If a man ever hits a woman that violent nature was inside of him before he ever met that woman. She did not cause or contribute to that violent nature, nor is she responsible for it.

The Bachelor Dumps Both Women?

2009-03-03T17:53:00.000-08:00

Sponsor: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I admit it - I watched a portion of the final episode of the bachelor. I bet many of you did too.

For those of you that missed the final episode - let me recap….

As those of you who have seen the show know, by the end of the series the choice is narrowed down to only two women. The bachelor has to select one of them. In this instance, the bachelor (Jason) dumped Molly at the final rose ceremony in favor of Melissa. A few weeks later, again on national television, Jason changes his mind and dumps Melissa in favor of Molly.

My wife called me into the room where she was watching the “After the Rose Ceremony” portion of the show, and she kept uttering these words, “I can’t believe that guy. How could he do that to those women?” (She said a lot of other things about Jason, but I would rather not repeat them).

Of course I had to enlighten her as to exactly how Jason could do that to those women.…

Jason appears to be one of those men that is in touch with his feelings (possibly too in touch with them).

Was Jason being dishonest with Molly when he initially cut her loose, and then with Melissa a few months later when he changed his mind, and decided he preferred Molly? I don’t think so. I suspect that Jason confuses intensity with intimacy. He assumes, like many men (and women as well), that the stronger he feels about someone, the more compatible he believes they are. As you can tell from watching, this only works when the relationship is going well. However, once things start to “normalize,” which eventually, occurs in every relationship (i.e., you get more comfortable with each other, start to recognize a few minor flaws, etc), this is a recipe for disaster.

What is the solution?

Surprisingly, it isn’t that Jason can’t ever find and/or keep love. It is that he is the worst person to try and find love in the format of “The Bachelor.” He needs to date someone for several months, (preferably longer). The woman needs to get accustomed to his moodiness. When he’s motivated and inspired, he is magical, but when he has doubts, he can be extremely unpredictable with his feelings. Only women with very high self esteem need consider dating Jason. At least based on what I witnessed last night.

One Final Observation…

Do you know who I was most impressed with? It was Melissa.

When she was riding away in the Limo she said to the camera, “I know that there is something about me…” I was so impressed by her willingness to consider that she might be contributing to her pattern of relationship breakups, as she indicated that this “always happened to her.” I thought that took a lot of courage and I don’t believe she is that far from discovering why she is “always the one being dumped.”
All she needs is someone who can show her how to change her pattern.

The Danger of Chick Flicks

2009-01-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

Sponsored by:
What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew

It's similar to men that use Pornography as an escape (Notice I said similar, not the same). It isn't that women don't know that a movie is just a movie, but watching enough romantic comedies, over time, tends to alter your view of what is a realistic expectation of a man.
See for yourself.

How To Tell if He'll be Faithful

2008-12-16T09:26:00.000-08:00

Sponsor: The Woman Men Adore....and Never Want to Leave

I read this post which I think represents the views of a lot of women. Apparently her bad experiences with men has made her pessimistic about relationships in general.
Instead of thinking men can't be faithful, wouldn't it be easier just to weed out the cheaters before you gave your heart away? This is why not allowing a relationship to proceed too fast can prevent you from falling in love with the wrong man.
How do you keep your relationship moving slowly? Simple, don't allow him to spend as much time with you as he would like.
I know that doesn't sound like much fun for you either, but unless you see how he responds when he doesn't get his way ( not seeing you a lot), you'll never know how he will act under the pressure in the future.

If You Want More Sex, Do the Dishes

2008-09-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

Presented by: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

This one if for the guys. Especially the married ones. It may not make sense to you but many women have told me they tend to agree with this research. Kinda common sense, but it gives you a different perspective on how women think. Not all women, but a lot of them.

Here's the link The term for this new insight is Chore-Play. Guys, remember it's all about what works, not whether we think it makes sense to us.

What Happened to the Real Men?

2008-08-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Every now and then a reader of "The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave," will send me an e-mail complaining that my book suggests that women should become subservient to men. They speak of equality, and not allowing a man to ever take advantage of them, etc. They give me the impression that a man being chivalrous is somehow a bad thing?

Kathleen Parker, Columnist and Author, believes that such an attitude in our society is actually robbing men (and women) of the kind of manhood that most women crave. Katherine believes that most women do desire a brave soul that would go out of his way to protect and cherish the woman of his choice. I agree with Ms. Parker. In the name of equality, many women are asking for something that looks good on the surface. However, a closer look reveals that looks can be deceiving.

Equality is great in a business setting, or among peers. Unfortunately, it rarely works too well in a romantic relationship, because the very nature of that type relationship is based on compliments - not equals. A woman's softness, not her toughness, inspires a man to be brave. This does not mean a woman is required to be a doormat. It just indicates that if you want a man who is protective and strong, he must feel that you need him. Otherwise, he will treat you as an equal. He will respect you, but you won't feel cherished.

"Men Love Long Hair" - Advice from a Woman?

2008-07-16T11:00:00.000-07:00

From: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Here's the quote from the owner/founder of The Millionaires Club. It' always interesting when a woman points this out. She also said this, ""Men have to learn to be men. Women have to learn to be women. The feminization of men has made them metrosexual, lazy or both."
Here's the full article here.

Women Haven't Adapted to Casual Sex

2008-06-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I can sometimes do without the almost religious fervor of evolution this and evolution that, but the findings are quite interesting. I wonder if women just weren't designed for one night stands?

See for yourself.

I especially found it interesting that quality seems to be more important than quantity.

Women's Fashion for Men

2008-06-23T12:08:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by : RelationshipHeadquarters.com

This is just one man’s opinion, but you’ll find his opinion is more universal than not. Oh, and the stuff he doesn’t like, take that with a grain of salt.

Fashion Tips for Women

Marriage Advice for the Ages

2008-05-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Some advice is predictable (better communication), some is fun (sex is good for a marriage) and some is just simple. In fact, sometimes the answer to a successful marriage can be found in focusing on what happens day to day between a couple.

It isn’t the big things that matter so much; rather it’s how you treat your spouse daily that makes a husband devoted for life.

Getting Him Back

2008-04-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by: RelationshipHeadquarters.com

If you have just had a relationship end, then you are most likely feeling overwhelmed (assuming you want him back) and perhaps a bit desperate. Nearly every day my office staff gets several phone calls from women who want to speak with me - RIGHT NOW. They don’t mean to be pushy, they’re just scared, and they feel that if they wait too long then they might lose him forever.

Of course the fastest thing to do would be to hire someone immediately, preferable a professional who has spent years working with individuals and couples. If you need to speak with someone – RIGHT NOW – then here are some resources:

www.askmarsvenus.com (The original Mars – Venus guy)

www.collinspartners.com (Very good reputation)

www.relationshipheadquarters.com (Yours Truly)

But for some the cost of hiring someone they don’t know can be a bit intimidating or perhaps you just want some quick insight. In that case, it might be a better idea to simply read some articles (and they’re free) and see if any of this advice might be helpful to your situation.

Here are some articles:

www.romanceclass.com

www.cupidsreviews.com/Getting-Ex-Back.html

ezinearticles.com/5-Ways-to-Get-Your-Ex-Back

ezinearticles.com/Getting-Back-Together-Advice

If these don’t answer your question it’s probably because these like most articles they are often written in a general and brief manner. As an author I can attest to the fact that it’s hard to describe how to get someone back into your life in one page or less which leads to the next suggestion. Buy a book. It’s less than hiring someone and often they come with a money back guarantee.

Here are some options:

www.magicofmakingup.com

www.howdoIgethimback.com

www.retrievealover.com

www.winbacklove.com

These are some suggestions. It isn’t meant to give you the answer because your situation is unique to you. The idea is to give you some resources so that you can decide which are best for your situation.

The Eligible-Bachelor Paradox

2008-04-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

From: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Yes, I do agree that women are more in control of the process of selecting a mate than most would admit. However, what they fail to understand is that for those women who know how to captivate a man, even in an age when there appears to be less quality choices, all that is required is one man. Just one that can take your breath away.
I've had clients who were widowed and then remarried and not a one of them ever said that they "settled." Why is it that so many single women can't get married the first time when these widowed individuals (some in their 50's) can find love? Perhaps it has more to do with our unconscious actions?

What Husbands Can't Resist

2008-04-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

from: Relationshipheadquarters.com

First, sorry for the long delay in posts. Our website is being completely redesigned and that has entailed more work than I imagined.

Second, our newest book, “What Husband’s Can’t Resist,” also took longer than expected at the editors chopping block but the results were worth it (I believe).

Third, we are expecting triplets (as in 3 boys, wow) so that’s been a bit of a task to prepare everything for them also.

O.K., that’s enough about me, here after it’s all about relationships and men!

What Am I Doing Wrong With Men?

2007-10-18T12:11:00.001-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

I came across this post, what am I doing wrong, and it sounded similar to so many emails I get every week. Doctor Love Coach didn't want to make any guesses without more information and I can appreciate her response. There could be a dozen different things this woman is "doing wrong" and she probably does need more information before making any suggestions.

I, however, get this type of email every week, so I'll gladly tell you what I think she might be doing that is contributing to her frustration.

Dear Frustrated Single and 35

1) Stop telling these men about your intentions. You're 35 years old and single. Nearly every man on the planet knows that a single 35 year old woman probably wants to get married and most likely have children.

2) You aren't crazy. A lot of men are afraid of making a mistake by "picking" the wrong woman to be their wife. To overcome this fear you need to learn how to captivate a man by demonstrating value. It must appear to him that he has caught you, not that he needs to "settle down" and get married.

3) If you're having sex with these men, stop. If these men aren't motivated enough to pursue marriage when you're having sex with them, then is there anything else you could offer to persuade them into matrimony? Exactly what bigger gift can you give besides your body??? Stop giving them access to your heart, mind and soul until they commit to you for life. It's a fair trade.

Is Marriage for White People Only?

2007-10-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

Relationshipheadquarters.com

When I first saw this article it obviously seemed racist but after reading it there appears to be some truth to it. If you want to know why I do this for a living, this article is a good starting place. How can people just give up so quickly and say that this is a trend and it's only going to get worse.

Here's the article.

Now, does this apply to everyone? No it doesn't and it certain isn't limited to one race. Yet because of this pattern, it unfortunately falls on women to do what many of these men will not do, which is grow up.

How to do this you ask? Here's a good starting place.

Living together before Marriage???

2007-10-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com

This topic has been debated since the dawn of Women's liberation. What's sad is that usually the argument is only between those who say it is and isn't morally wrong. Nothing wrong with that discussion but there is more to this question than simply each person having their own opinion.

The truth is that women who move in with a man are playing a man's game. It isn't just that it's morally wrong, which, by religious standards it is, but it decreases the likelihood that the ensuing marriage will last.

Here's something to think about if you're considering moving in with your man:

Living together Before Marriage?

3 Things Men Can't Resist

2007-09-13T10:18:00.001-07:00

Sponsored by RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Most women don't realize just how deeply men feel. This research, while not all encompassing, does confirm what some experts have been saying about men.
The truth is that when a man is properly motivated, he will do almost anything for a woman.

Here's the link: What Men Will Do For Romance

3 Signs He's Interested in You

2007-07-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Sign #1: He makes Good Eye Contact

Since guys are visual, it goes without saying that they stare at women whom they find attractive. This is significant because, as a general rule of thumb, men tend to avoid prolonged eye contact because of its threatening nature (think Alpha Male stuff).

In addition.....

Read the rest of the article here

The Man of Your Dreams is Here!

2007-05-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by : Relationshipheadquarters.com

After months of "getting is just right" I am thrilled to release the third book in a collection for women entitled "How to Find the Man of Your Dreams." My staff has told me that this is one of the most frequent request we receive and until now, we had nothing to offer them.

As with all my other books, this one comes with a FREE 15-minute coaching session and a money back guarantee. Please feel free to ask questions if you like and it is my hope that it proves to be as helpful as the previous two.

The Man of Your Dreams

2007-05-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

brought to you by www.Relationshipheadquarters.com

Soon my newest book will be released, "How to Find the Man of Your Dreams." After speaking with hundreds of women who have dared to share what was in their heart, it appears to me that deep in the heart of every woman is the desire to captured by the man of their dreams.
You can read a preview of this book before it is released June 1.

50 Universal Truths About Men

2007-05-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

Sponsored by RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Here is a list of characteristics that nearly every man believes, but few ever verbalize.

1. Why should I remind you that “I love you?” I already told you once.

2. I’ll do anything for sex; even commit to you for life.

3. I hate arguing with you. I’d much rather find a compromise.

4. I love long hair. Sorry, but I do.

5. When you speak softly, I can’t help but listen.

6. I need to be told “no” sometimes. Not a lot, but every now and again reminds me that you are expensive.

View the rest of the list

Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back (Secret ingredient)

2007-04-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Relationshipheadquarters.com - Understanding Men...in Relationships.

I must admit that I have been pleasantly surprised at the popularity of "How Do I Get Him Back." I knew there was a need but I didn't know how great it was until now. While many women have taken advantage of my FREE 15-minute coaching session, some have not and have emailed me that after a "few days" the plan isn't working for them.

It appears that some women are hoping to find a magical phrase that they can say to their ex which will cause him to come running back into their arms, instantly. I can tell you the only phrase that will come close to that is, "I will have sex with you whenever you want, without you having to commit to me." That doesn't sound too appealing does it?

If you are one of these women I need to tell you something. I know you don't want to hear this but the truth of the matter is that it's going to take TIME to win your ex back. I cannot tell you how many women give into their fears and impulsively end up doing the very things I warn tell them not to do (ie. sending an email, letter, emotional phone call, etc..).

How much time you ask? Usually between 2 and 6 weeks. Sometimes less and sometimes more because words are not as effective on men as they are on women. Words only work when the right phrase is said at the perfect time. I want make certain that their ex FEELs as well has hears their words. I don't like to leave anything to chance.

For those who aren't sure what they should do, I've created a FREE report to help women identify if they are making any of the mistakes that drive men off. This way you can decide if the man you want back is worth the effort.

Wishing you the Relationship of Your Dreams!

Bob Grant, L.P.C. "The Relationship Doctor"

Why Susan Dates Bad Boys (Jerks)

2007-04-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

RelationshipHeadquarters.com - Understanding Men...in Relationships

For the past 5 years Susan has been on a dating roller coaster.

Each guy dates has two identical qualities; they were always exciting and eventually treated her like dirt!

Now she isn’t stupid and doesn’t enjoy being mistreated. It’s just that she, like many women loathed being bored by a man.

It seemed to Susan that the only way to tell if a guy would make her happy is if she felt a “connection” with him (and the sooner the better) and with this being her measure of how to pick a man, she found herself dating men who excited her AND made her feel out of control.

In fact, in the beginning, every one of these men seemed so nice and sincere, certain of their love for her.

At first, they couldn’t get enough of her.

Flowers were followed my phone calls which frequently culminated with wild passionate sex.

With each man she felt she had found someone special, after all.....

Full article available at Susan Dates Bad Boys

3 things Men can’t resist

2007-03-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

1) A woman who smiles. (More powerful than you might realize)

A woman who smiles makes it easier for a man to approach her by conveying an attitude of confidence and playfulness. Since many women are fearful of giving men the “wrong impression” they frequently guard their smiles. While that approach is safer, it inadvertently sends the message of being someone who is overly cautious.

In addition, smiling is a sign of acceptance. Men often need.....

When it Comes to Men: Patterns Don't Lie

2007-03-08T13:44:00.000-08:00


RelationshipHeadquarters.com

It is amazing how many women know the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result) and yet they continue to date or marry the same type of man and expect a different result. Most therapists who have been practicing for a few years are familiar with this pattern. Usually those individuals who practice relationship insanity only enter therapy because they are in intense pain and they are desperate. Often a woman will enter my office for relief from their heartache rather than insight into her problems. Most of these women (men too) want their circumstances to be different, but they often don't want to change their behavior.

Read the rest of the article here.

Why Do Men Cheat - Follow up

2007-02-23T11:15:00.000-08:00

Cindy, I did look at your site cheatingways.com and liked what I saw. In addition, I appreciate the resources in your site, e-books, detective agencies, and articles. It pains me to say that a friend of my wife needs to see your website. It's strange, but I wouldn't have thought of all the things you have until I visited your site.
I'm busy organizing the e-book and when it's done, a copy goes to you!

Visit me at: relationshipheadquarters.com

Understanding Men: Why Do Men Cheat?

2007-02-23T11:13:00.000-08:00

Understanding Men: Why Do Men Cheat?

See more articles for women about men at RelationshipHeadquarters.com

Emotionally Distant Men Resource

2007-02-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

I found an article I really like. It's on a site called www.squidoo.com where you can create your own "lens". Basically it's a place where you get to be an authority on the topic of your choice, so I thought why not? I created one (a lens) that needs some work, but it's a start. The title is Dating Tips for Women and while I was there I noticed an article that I liked. It's entitled Emotionally Distant Men and it's nice to see someone not simply repeating the usually advice such as, "Men just need to grow up." It seems obvious to me that she understands men pretty well.

Learn more at: relationshipheadquarters.com

Why Do Men Cheat?

2007-02-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

When I went looking on the web for research I was surprised at how little information there was for women. David Zinczenko says that among other things, men were more curious and there biology influenced them in this direction more. I agree with him that men are not biological predestined to cheat. Thank goodness some men actually get this and it seems that he does.
On the other side there is Curt Smith who says, “When men cheat, it basically means that they are looking for something their girlfriend or wife is not providing. Often times, it comes down to sex.” Well, partially true but there must be more to it than that. “….cheating is disrespectful towards the person you've cheated on, but at the very least, it has two beneficial aspects to it. First, that you'll realize your mistake and appreciate your lover a lot more after the horrible deed.The second is that cheating can help you realize your misery within your current relationship, and will likely give you that necessary shove to move on and stop wasting both your lover's and your own time.”

I don’t think so Curt. I mean I’m sure for some this is true, but that’s not the reason why men cheat. That makes men out to be morons (Make your own jokes). I mean if men are so stupid that they get married when they are almost destined to cheat then why even bother. Most men have every intention of being faithful which is why they are often slow to commit to marriage. No, there’s more to this than that Curt.
Then there’s Lorna who gives the reason being that men cheat because of; sexual variety, curiosity, desire to feel important, opportunity and sexual addiction. She’s right, but those reasons seem to me to be the result and not the cause. What exactly causes a man to desire to feel important or act on an opportunity? I’m thinking about writing a small ebook about this.

For more information about men, please visit me at: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Where to Meet Men

2007-02-07T12:19:00.000-08:00

Here are some links that might prove helpful for anyone who feels they don't know what to do for their man. It's not a complete list, but it might be helpful.

I'm researching my newest book, "The Man of Your Dreams" and this is some of the stuff I'm finding.
Here are some funny sites, they don't mean to be funny but they are to me.
SugarDaddie.com
Millionaire'sclub.com

For those who just want some new ideas, here are sites for those that aren't worth $1,000,000 and growing.

Ivilliage.com/meetmen
Ten Great Ways to Meet Men
How to Meet Men and Women

For other ideas visit my website at: Relationshipheadquarters.com

How To Get Him Back, It's finally Here!

2007-01-25T10:21:00.000-08:00

Well, it's done. The new book, "How Do I Get Him Back," was birthed into this world on Monday, Jan. 22, 2007. Of course most folks will remember that day as being a new episode of "Heros," but I can't complain. I like the show too.
What I want every woman to know is that what I have written does work. It just might not make much sense to women. After all, if a women really were good at understanding men, they wouldn't be women...they'd be men.

Most people get in trouble overusing what they are good at. Women are good at empathy (at least most are) and nuture, the very things that will keep an ex away for good. Anyway you can find out more at howdoIgetHimBack.com.

How Bad Do You Want it?

2007-01-09T15:24:00.000-08:00

So you want a relationship to die for. There isn't anything you wouldn't do to have the guy of your dreams come into your life and pursue you until you gave in to be his girl and later his wife. Are you certain you can do what it takes? I mean if what you need is to be more independent and learn about your own insecurities, would you be willing to do that.

Those women who are willing to take complete responsibility for the outcome of their relationships are the ones who get what they want. Blaming others is the primary difference between those who have their man and those stuck on the outside looking in, desperately.

I've written about this in my book and so have John Gray, James Dobson and Dr. Phil. Hey, I had to compare myself with someone so why not pick the big boys. If your finally ready to have the relationship you've always dreamed of, then take action this year. Learn what works with men and what doesn't. Get a book or hire a coach if need be. You don't have to be perfect, just open to the truth about yourself.
Often, what can change a woman's life is something very simple. They just need someone to help them see it.

May this year be your best!

Bob Grant, L.P.C. "The Relationship Doctor"

Gratitude and Relationships

2006-12-25T14:39:00.000-08:00

Here it is on Christmas and I am so thankful for the relationships that I have. In fact, for many single women having a attitude of gratitude often precedes an improvement in their relationships. Many wait until their relationships improve before they are thankful and they wonder when their luck will finally turn.
As the new year begins, make it a point this year to be thankful for what you do have. For health, for the friends you have, even for your problems - that they aren't bigger than you are. Something magical happens when you are grateful. It softens the sour and a unintended benefit is that men will notice. It will effect the way you smile, the way you walk and carry yourself.
If you want your relationships to improve this year, start your new year with a promise that this year you are going to control what you can control -- your attitude about your circumstances. With this new attitude I promise you will be amazed how circumstances will follow your lead!

Learn more at my homepage, Relationshipheadquarters.com

Almost There

2006-12-20T07:26:00.000-08:00

"How Do I Get Him Back" is almost done! I'm really excited because of all the relationship advice I give regarding relationships this book is the most practical. It's methods have been used by James Dobson and countless others but I've been able to put it in a format that is pretty simple to understand. If a woman is really good at understanding men and what works with them and on them, it really is pretty easy to get a man to come back into your life.

Relationshipheadquarters.com

New Book Just About Ready!

2006-12-18T10:03:00.000-08:00

It has taken me months but my newest book, "How Do I Get Him Back," is just about ready. The editor is still finishing up some last minute details and my webmaster is also busy too.
When it comes to relationship advice about relationships, I must admit this book is more basic than "The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave."
You can download a preview chapter to get somewhat of an idea but by the time it's released, what you read may be tweaked a little. Just go to the above link and the download will be available.

Relationshipheadquarters.com

First Date Magic For Women

2006-11-30T14:38:00.000-08:00

Nothing fantastic for this entry but I did want to mention a new article I've just written. It' entitled First Date Magic For Women. See what you think and let me know.

Relationship Advice for Women

Intense vs. Dependable

2006-11-14T10:17:00.000-08:00

How often do women (men too) confuse intensity with what is true. Because something FEELs good, they assume it is good. I wonder what would happen if there was some kind of law created that made a man and woman have to work together at a job for 6 months before they were married. It couldn't be done, but what might happen. Well the first thing would be that "chemistry" wouldn't mean a whole lot when their partner didn't get their work done. Feelings wouldn't matter one bit when a woman had to do her man's job as well as her own.
In addition, how would it affect a woman after 6 months if she had seen how he treated her even when they were doing boring stuff. I bet she would find him more attractive.
My point is simply that most married couples that have been married more than 5 years understand that marriage is more like a business partnership than dating. Oh, it has moments of passion and love and intensity but not all the time. We wouldn't get anything done if eveything was just passion.
I'm not suggesting viewing relationships as a business partnership, but adding that to the mix. Someone that is exciting may not be dependable. They may, but excitment alone can't tell you how dependable a man is, just that he makes you feel good. When you're sick and you need someone to take care of you, I promise feeling excited won't matter one bit.

Relationship Advice For Women

Meet men?

2006-11-02T10:06:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting post I noticed in doing research for my upcoming book, "How to Marry the man of your dreams." Of course the title may change in the next 6 months. These are just some ideas of where to meet men. Tom's ideas aren't brand new but it does point out the many options there are for singles but I know that my customers want more than this therefore I am hard at work. I know that they crave deeply satisfying relationships and answers that are both practical and new. Therefore, I am hard at work in my 2 upcoming books to provide the insights that I have been told women would kill for.
No pressure there.

Relationshipheadquarters.com

Where to meet men

2006-10-30T12:06:00.000-08:00

I've been doing some research. The book after the next one....... is going to be about how to find the man of your dreams. That will create a trilogy of 1) How to find the man of your dreams 2) How to keep your man and 3) If you lost him, how to get him back. Those three should address what a woman should need regardless of what stage of relationships she finds herself.
I can tell you that thus far all I'm really finding are lists of places to meet men. Some neat ideas but there has to be more to it than that. I mean, I know some women you could put in the middle of a bridal shop and they'd still end up meeting a wonderful man, my wife is one of them. It must be a combination of the woman and the location. I've written about becoming the woman men adore, but haven't tackled the location aspect just yet, but I will. Within a few months I'll have the ideal places where anyone can meet men with little effort. There really isn't a meet men with no effort, unless a woman wants to order up a date like they did in Logan's Run.
Find out more at: Relationshipheadquarters.com

It's the little hunches that are most accurate

2006-10-26T08:38:00.000-07:00

About a year ago I read a fabulous book called, "Blink." I've observed how often trusting your gut turns out to be true and here was a book that explained why. I went to Grad School and learned all the counseling theory, but I keep coming back to intuition, especially when it comes to women. The trick is always helping them distinguish between intuition and intensity. It is the subtle impressions that a woman gets early on in a relationship, that don't scream at her, that are the most often true. Those feelings that scream are often true...And distorted......and somewhat false.
Here's an example. If a woman goes on a date and the guy only talks about himself and she has this feeling that he might be a little selfish, I'd tell her to pay attention to that feeling. It isn't screaming at her, therefore I trust it. Just like in an argument, if you have to scream, your point isn't that strong. If on the other hand, her date talks about himself the entire date and she has a terrible sinking feeling in her stomach, I'd be inclined to suggest she give him another date. Why? Because her reaction is disproportionate to what he did. Something is going on in her mind that has nothing to do with her date. That kind of reaction is often misleading, even though it is intense.
I know, I know, it's not the kind of dating tips women like to hear, but they work.
Learn more at: Relationship Tips For Women

Newest Book, "How to Get Him Back"

2006-10-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of my newest book, "How to Get Him Back." I think I know what women want to hear which is simply, "what do I need to do to get him back together with me." The biggest problem I am having is trying to find the formula that will work for everyone.
I think I've got it, but until it's actually being read by readers you never truly know. I guess, I'll just have to go by the results I have seen by my clients. I must admit, it is nice to have clients to verify new insights before I write about it. I know that most authors don't have this luxury. I'll give you a small insight from the book, which should be available at the first of 2007.
When trying to get a man back, it is imperative that a woman avoid any argument with him. All that does is reinforce whatever fears he already has about the relationship. Unfortunately many women believe that avoiding arguing is the same as avoiding conflict and it isn't.

To learn more visit my homepage at: relationshipheadquarters.com

Why wait to have Sex?

2006-10-20T10:26:00.000-07:00

I get responses from women all the time who ask me when they should have sex with a man. Mostly they want to know how many dates then need to go on before they can give themselves to a man/guy. Rather than simply giving them a specific time frame, I like to explain why waiting is better than rushing in and what is actually involved in sex. It's more than just a feeling but a deeply bonding experience where a piece of their heart is given to another person. Here's a link I found that explains what happens chemically in the brain during sex.
Sexisforreal

Visit my homepage at: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Power and Surrender

2006-10-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

I see this problem often. How women (men too) long for a confident and powerful man who is sensitive to their feelings. Most men are good at doing one or the other and I have heard numerous stories of how frustrating that is to women because during dating most men can do both. Why can't they do both all of the time????

The short answer is because it's really hard to combine both of these traits. What I suggest to women a more accurate understanding of men and what they REALLY want. Having a man who is strong and attentive makes him a father. Fathers maintain this balance with their daughters (at least they are suppose to) because they don't need their daughters for emotional support (again, they are not suppose to). What really is a female turn on is a man/guy of power that will periodically allow a woman/girl to get her way.

I've had women say how much they longed for a guy who would pamper them with money and attention. Then they meet a wonderful man and within 3 or 4 dates they suddenly seem to find him BORING. I have told as many men as will listen that women crave a man's strength. There is no substitute for a man who knows what he wants AND is attentive, AT TIMES. Men that can master this balance of power will find they will never lack for female attention.

Learn more at: Relationshipheadquarters.com

Men Sometimes Forget

2006-10-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

I had lunch with a friend the other day. We hadn't seen each other in probably 3 months and before that it certainly a year. He's successful by most standards and very efficient when it comes to running his companies. In short, he knows how to get things done. In addition, he loves his wife and absolutely ADORES his daughter. I can relate.
While we were talking I listened as we discussed how our families were doing and it was refreshing to hear some of his frustrations that he has dealt with and overcome. He related incidents where he simply puts his mind to a task, regardless of feelings, and overcomes his problem (he calls them challenges) and because this method is successful in most areas of his life, he will volunteer this approach to his wife when she is hurting. As I was listening, my mind immediately recalled how I had done the very same thing with my wife.
Then my friend ended his story with this sentence, "You know Bob, after the third time of her (his wife) telling me her point I realized - 'Hey dummy, she just needs you to listen." It was a good reminder for me- and a little embarrassing too. I mean I give advice on relationships for a living. I know this stuff, but in that moment I was reminded that I'm not a woman. It's sometimes easy to want to make a woman feel better immediately rather than allow her to feel better her way (which usually works better).
I left our lunch with a renewed appreciation for my wife who is different and therefore wonderful. I had just forgotten that a little bit.

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Understanding Men

2006-10-16T10:29:00.000-07:00

I know it's confusing trying to figure out men. The truth is that we really don't use as much of our brains when it comes to relationships like women do. We get accused of being mean, selfish and rude (well men can actually be all of these), but in reality many times it's simply because men are clueless. This is why there are books out there that say propose helping women with titles like Men Made Easy. When I speak with women they learn pretty early that I'm pro Man (uh, male species). Rather than complaining about men, wouldn't it just be easier to understand what makes men work and use it to your advantage? The women who have taken me up on this are the ones who write me thank you letters and some have even invited me to their weddings.

Learn more at relationshipheadquarters.com.

My first blog

2006-10-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

Where to begin. Over the past 3 years I've sold over 8,000 books online and in paperback. Not too bad for something that was only suppose to be a little add on to my counseling practice. Yet with all the women I speak with, I am still amazed at how often they misunderstand how men think. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on them, it's just that when many of them are told, they seem to have no idea what I am talking about.

For more information visit Relationshipheadquarters.com.